The Blog of lunnas

Today I had a panic atack, i got so depressed i sat in the shower letting the water run (it was hot).

 i really felted so depressed i know i should be happy becalse any day now we will be getting  the seddlemten.

 i dont know if donald really understands why iam so depressed but here goes in case he reads my blogs. the house we were trying to

 get threw foothills, i really feel misty the one working with us i feel she lead us down the garden path ,we have asked her numbers

of times will the seddlemnt hurt is getting this house, she kepted saying no it wont hurt after all the seddlement isnt regluar

income . well about a week ago same old conversation will the seddlemt hurt us on getting the house? we told her we will

follow all the rules what ever they would ask us to do. now we told misty that after paying off all our blls and getting our

creit cleaned up we may have more than 10 thousand in the bank ,well now its too much money to have in the bank.

 we were truthful with every thing they ask us, we made her say it , the facts well if you have that much money

in the bank you dont kneed out help. i feel so betrayed . just people tell me the turth dont lie. i had all my hopes up

on that house, i know we can find another house. i feel like iam in jail becalse my mother in law shes for the passed

 5 months has been on her best behaver so nice so kind, i feel like ive had all my feedoms taken form me

 i have to follow such rules , if i cook i must offer she what ever i cook, knowing she will most of the time get turned down

  i ve taken all my things out of her kitchen,becalse she has to move my things where she wants them

 i cant ware purfum becalse it might make her eyes water or make her so she cant breath. i dont dare move my couch or donalds chair

for fear of her saying something bad to me . i have to do my laudry at night when she goes to bed

so she wont bitch at me for using a fabric soffner that makes it so she cant breaht . i cant talk to my husnad in the

front room with out her answering no privcy , i feel iam married to her . i feel like she asks too many questions about our privet

life such as asking how much we are getting from the seddlemnt, of corse we lied not telling her what we really are getting

 the lawers are playing phone tag , its been a week and this hasnt been seddled. i just feel we are never moving out.

iam so sick of being here . now she truns the other cheek and she so nice becalse we have money comming.

 i really wanted to have a good relationship with her but its too late . donald says most of the time i dont even

eknowllage her being in the room, i just dont know what the hell to say to her,all she wants to talk about is shit like whos

running for presd. i dont care about things like that i call when she starts talking about that crap,or talking

about stuff on the news like the little fla girl thats missing, she talks about stuff like that like those people are in our

life i feel for the family . i just feel like i dont have any say so in the house i know she treats donald bad too and my daughter

 i just feel so traped and controled by her becalse of so much i cant do. i want to go to school .

but i dont dare becalse i wont leave my daughter or husband. i just feel so traped.will we ever gt out of here

 i dont cook any more for my family becalse of her watching over me as i cook telling me i cook it like this.