CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
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What about childhood 'trauma'? What effect could a trauma possibly have that i cant even remember?
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I know there are lots of ideologies out there on phobia, so I'll just give you mine and you can do what you want with it.
I believe that "trauma" is a word that is more encompassing than most people think. We often think of something horribly heinous when we use the word trauma. Yet to child development psychologists and those who study the effects of trauma on the brain, this is not so. Birth itself is a trauma. Most people can overcome this trauma with a secure attachment to their mother. You may not have had this secure attachment at a young age. So you were further "traumatized" as an infant. And while you can't remember it with the logic/language part of your brain your body remembers it. The oldest part of our brains, from an evolutionary perspective, is the amygdala which is responsible for creating "wiring" to respond to danger.
An infant with no mother is the biggest danger there is - think about it. If you are an infant and have no mother, you will die very quickly...especially in ancient times, when this part of our brains was "created". Once you reach 3 years of age, you can link together events in "memory", but before this age you cannot. However, the WIRING is still there connecting the fear response to certain triggers. With phobia, some other thing gets associated with that neuro-pathway (like vomiting). Don't ask me why. Nobody knows. For you it's vomiting, for someone else it's another anxiety of some type.
In ideal conditions from 3 months on, you might have had no effect whatsoever of the early trauma. But other factors (which you may or may not ever discover) added up to a bouncing baby phobia for you.
Think about it: if a baby were beaten and raped every day from birth to age 3, then "rescued", do you really think that kid would be ok just because they can't remember it? I promise you, even in the most loving home afterward, the child/adult would be permanently damaged beyond belief. In fact, the odds are about 99% that they would become some sort of murderer, completely incapable of forming attachments with anyone or having any kind of conscience. Now granted, this is nothing like what happened to you, but the idea that the body remembers what the "mind" can't is still true.
I don't believe that this is Freudian, by the way. Freud's beliefs are complicated and mainly rest in the unconscious...the idea that you hate your mother, compete for your father, need sexual comfort and avoid death. This has nothing to do with what your therapist is talking about.
Although ALL therapy relates, one way or another, to Freud's discoveries about our early experience influencing our lives somehow. Your therapist's beliefs are based on solid research that is pretty standard and universal these days. Rather than Freud, look to the universally accepted work of John Bowlby on attachment, and also Victor Janov. Ask your therapist about these great thinkers of our time. I would also recommend Leslie Greenburg's work. That's if you feel like reading up on trauma, anxiety and emotion.
I always say that the good news is that it doesn't matter WHAT factors contributed to your phobia - adoption, anxious families, sexual abuse, etc...because the cure is the same. And the cure begins with feeling safe with your therapist, and then gradually (either through imagination, talking, or visually) being exposed to that which you fear, and re-writing the outcome [i.e., you're safe]. The idea is to create new synaptic connections in the brain that spell this: VOMIT DOES NOT = DANGER. Right now you've got VOMIT = DANGER going on.
It's true that sometimes therapists go down roads that are out to lunch. Indeed, you have to feel comfortable with the course of treatment - you're in the driver's seat at all times. However, offering a theory related to early trauma is NOT the same thing, in my humble and educated opinion, as suggesting something happened to you that didn't (such as sexual abuse).
I, too, have been the "victim" of a silly therapist who tried to suggest I was sexually abused when I was not, and that something else happened to me other than what I was reporting when it did not. This is NOT THE SAME THING as your therapist talking to you about your ACTUAL experience, which YOU reported.
I would suggest asking your THERAPIST the questions you've asked here - esp. about how trauma affects the brain/body when you can't remember it. Take one session to chat about theory so you feel more comfortable with it.
In summary, I think as long as you like and trust your therapist, you're on the right track.
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| Frequently Asked Question regarding Emetophobia |
Following are a list of questions (and answers by Sage, a recovered emet, author and professional counsellor) asked by real emetophobic people on the International Emetophobia Society website/discussion forum.
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